I spent most of my Wednesday doing what I love most about being an education major-- assisting and observing in a kindergarten classroom! The children are always so gracious in their offerings of hugs, drawings, and giggles. I usually leave feeling really relaxed and at peace that teaching young children is what I want to do with my life. Today, however, left me with a lot more to think about.
Am I actually prepared for the situations my students are going to present? Can I really handle a classroom full of energetic bodies that can't seem to stop bouncing from their seats and sliding down to play under the tables? Do I really have the patience for early childhood students who like to push boundaries and who are not quick to grasp concepts?
I had the opportunity to lead the writing time for a solid 45 minutes. Every time the teacher peeked into the room to get another student for an assessment, she complimented how quiet and focused they were. She saw what I was missing; the majority of the class was being productive and gaining great practice in writing. I was simply distracted by the few students who decided today was the day to test Miss Sara's patience!
One student in particular made it so easy to become frustrated. The prompt was to write about what was played at recess. The student's dramatic and loud response..."I did nothing at recess!". Eventually, this led to the paper being thrown on the floor and a refusal to do any work. I had to raise my voice with the student, in addition to moving the student to a different table away from the others, plus moving down on the behavior chart. These are not aspects of classroom management I enjoy or am proud of doing, but there was no other option in this case!
Keep in mind, all during this episode, there were a handful of students tattle-telling on each other for various reasons. There was also a student playing "hide under the table" instead of doing work. Then, a handful of gifted and talented students waved their hands frantically out of boredom because they were finished and wanted the teacher to give them more work to do. As if that wasn't enough, several other hands were held in the air because help was needed sounding out words and thinking of ideas. Good golly, talk about needing an extra set of eyes and hands!
Despite the tears from the student refusing to do work and the chaos that seemed to surround the incident, I managed to pull everyone through the assignment. All of them wrote at least one sentence and illustrated their recess activities. Overall, you could say the lesson was a success!
But the story doesn't stop there. The reason today will stick with me wasn't the struggle of classroom management. Those are skills that will be learned with more practice.
The true struggle from today's experience is feeling comfortable with my attitude towards the difficult student. The back story to all of this is that earlier in the day, the student shared with the class frustrations of not spending time with a father figure.
Here I am, losing my patience, with a child who clearly expressed he just needs to feel and experience some unconditional love.
Do I even have the right mindset to be an effective, loving teacher?
That is a huge question that I can only pray God will answer. Maybe my doubts are unwarranted, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, and most likely my career choice will work out fine. I'm sticking with my choice for now in hopes that this is the circumstance.
Nonetheless, I still think it is incredibly important to pray and reflect on having the right mindset in pursuit of any path we intend to take. Skills can be learned, but a mindset is a whole different ordeal. Only Christ can bless us with the perspective we need to see our roles on Earth in the way He sees them. I can try all I want to be a good teacher, but if I am not leaning on Christ to give me the perspective to truly love and help children with patience and compassion, the work is not going to be effective.
Although teaching may not directly be a religiously-affiliated task, I learned today how important my faith will be in pursuing and maintaining a career as a teacher. In the next few years of preparation, I will be continually praying for God to show His intentions for my career, including the mindset He wants me to have in working with young children.
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