Waiting Wisely

Good evening, lovely readers!

I've been blessed with some spare time tonight and a title for a post came to me earlier today, so it looks like the perfect time to do some blogging! The idea of "waiting wisely" came to me as I read a few articles earlier in regards to what to do while you are a single Christian. As someone who is trying to purposefully be single until the end of Lent, I've hit a few roadblocks that make it oh-so-tempting to give up on that idea. Satan is really good at what he does, so it is a good thing Christ is a whole lot better at supporting us through those trials!

I had a post not too long ago about the "Forever Alone" lie (The Big Fat Lie aka Forever Alone- click here for a link), but once we realize that we will not be forever alone, what do we do about it? How do we effectively spend our time embracing what Christ has for us in our singleness, rather than wishing for a significant other all-day, everyday?

Even after doing my research, I still have moments where I wish I could just jump ahead, skip the singleness step, and be in a relationship. I think I'm ready to get back into the world of dating, but the reality is, I'm not. I might think my timing is all fine and dandy; however, Christ will never be delayed or early in His timing, so I really have no business deciding that timing on my own! I am constantly reminding myself that there is a reason I felt the push to challenge myself to this dating detox for Lent and that I should embrace the time to do God's will with no distractions. Nevertheless, easier said than done.

So what can be done? Whether you are purposefully taking a break on pursuing relationships or just haven't met "the one", what can you do with all of this time being single?

Here are a few ideas I brainstormed and/or tried:

1. Read, read, and read some more. I decided this is a great time to start soaking in God's word and began a one-year Bible challenge. While it is just a short bit of time spent each day, I am finding that I am learning so much about who God is and what He has in store for our lives with Him. Word of warning-- your mind may not-so-conveniently try to wander so be prepared to push through the distractions and re-focus!

2. Check out some new volunteer opportunities. I felt God was calling me to get more plugged in at church and took the plunge to start working with children's church every few weeks. Not only is it enjoyable, but also a great way to learn about your spiritual gifts and how to use them.

3. Spend time with new people. As a single person, we are free to do whatever we please, within reason, of course. There is no one tying us down with date nights and other relationship-related time commitments, which makes it the perfect opportunity to experiment with new social circles and to seek out new fellowship opportunities. Who knows, the friendships you make could lead someone to Christ or even strengthen your own faith! Word of caution-- focus on friendship as brothers and sisters in Christ, not on whether or not someone is a potential future mate! If it is meant to turn into more than friendship, let Jesus do the work and follow His guidance. 

4. Pray and journal. Devote a consistent time to prayer and/or writing in a journal everyday. Find a comfy spot where you can unwind and let God have your complete focus. God loves when we spend time with Him in prayer and writing about our thoughts can be an amazing way to watch how He works through our prayer life.

5. Learn to see yourself the way God sees you. Embrace who you are and where you are in life! This might be the most challenging idea of all, at least in my life. Mentally re-playing our mistakes in past relationships, whether it be with friends, a significant other, or family, can become a very detrimental habit and can wear down our image of who we are in Christ. Take this time to refocus on forgiving yourself the way God forgives you, unconditionally as though you are a blank slate. Isaiah 1:18 states, "'Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'" 

I pray that all of the other single ladies and gents out there have found some equally as effective ways to spend their time! Please comment with any ideas, I'd love to hear my readers' suggestions on how to wait wisely.

Take care and goodnight!

The Big Fat Lie, aka "Forever Alone"

I used to think it. I have heard at least three different friends say it in the past year. I'm pretty sure advertisements for online dating sites and apps support the trend I've started to notice. There are an awful lot of people thinking they will be "forever alone" and that they need to do something to make their terrible fate change.

Just like how God knows how to push our buttons to move us to do and think positively, Satan knows how to poke and prod at our nerves to make us do and think negatively.

He makes us forget that God will make all of His promises and goodness clear within His own timing. He has a plan for our life, with meaningful and necessary timing worthy of our patience:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time..." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

Regardless of if it applies to being alone in a romantic sense or in a friendship sense, eternal loneliness is what I've deemed to be the "big fat lie" Satan places in our mindsets. God is always with us and is always leading us down a path He has created especially for us, yet Satan is really skilled at planting thoughts of inadequacy and isolation into our brains. Next time you sense Satan placing one of these feelings of loneliness into your life, take note:

Life with God = Life without Loneliness

Not going to lie to you all, though, that is a concept much easier said than done. Nights sitting alone, school dances without a date, exclusion from social invitations, and other experiences people might have in this category seem to only encourage the "big fat lie". The physical loneliness makes it easy to forget that we are never alone spiritually. Feeling the hurt of being excluded or uninvited can make us feel unworthy of love and can make it seem that God doesn't have a significant other or friendships in our plan.

There are a lot of smaller elements that lead to difficulty with accepting, believing, and trusting Christ's truth that He has plans for our futures in relationships. Here is just a short list of the mini-lies that play into Satan's "forever alone" trap, in no particular order, along with some of God's word to counter them:

Mini-lie 1:
I must have misunderstood God or He lied to me. He placed a desire for a significant other, a future family, or a friend in my heart with no intention to actually fulfill that promise.

Response:
"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made." -Psalm 145:13

Mini-lie 2:
There is no chance for me to meet someone. My life has no opportunities for positive friendships and relationships to develop.

Response:
In Matthew 15:29-39, Jesus fed four thousand, while in a remote location with no access to additional food, from seven loaves of bread and a few small fish. "They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over." 
From this story, we can clearly see that Christ can make anything possible!

Mini-lie 3:
I'm too old and missed the boat. Everyone has their friends and relationships developed so there is no hope for me.

Response:
In Genesis 21:1-7, the Lord blessed Sarah with pregnancy in her old age. Her husband Abraham was a hundred years old! "'Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." And she added, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borned him a son in his old age."
From this story, we can clearly see that Jesus doesn't place an age limit on finding love and having a family.

Mini-lie 4:
I am not strong enough in faith, not educated enough, not attractive enough, etc. for anyone to want to spend time with me. I'm essentially inadequate and undeserving of love.

Response:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:13-14
...and...
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12
From these verses, we can clearly see that Christ has created all of us with beauty and care. He intends for us to be valued, no matter how young/old, skilled/unskilled, or weak/strong we might feel.

Mini-lie 5:
I am too shy to even talk to people. How am I going to fall in love, let alone form meaningful friendships, if I can't even hold a conversation?

Response:
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13


That's just a short list of all of the related issues that can tie into the "big fat lie". If you cannot personally relate, I think it is fairly safe to say that you will meet someone with these thoughts or have already met someone with these feelings.

With that in mind, remember that God placed a desire for intimacy, acceptance, and companionship as a model for how He wants to relate to us. God will always be our companion, our life partner, and our supporter. His grace and love are endless. 

Seeking Him is the perfect way to learn how to love and how to see ourselves the way He sees us. Pursuing Christ not only gives us contentment in our present scenario, but also in the future to come:

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." -1 Timothy 4:8

Take a moment to realize your value and acceptance with Christ, as well as the importance of seeking a relationship with Him before pursuing relationships with others. You are never alone, as long as you accept Jesus into your life.

Let Jesus worry about your love story and friendships. Keep yourself open to hear His guidance and He will lead you down paths you never could have imagined on your own.

Creeped Out on a Holy Day

The freakiest thing just happened. I got an e-mail...from a dating website.

At first I thought it was a scam, then after doing some Google searches I found out "Date My School" is in fact a legit website. How my e-mail address made it onto their list, I have no clue. All I know is that today is the start of Lent and I literally just started what is essentially an anti-dating movement for the next forty days. Receiving an e-mail that has anything to do with dating is quite the turn off right now!

Flat out, I'm creeped out.

It might be a stretch, or it might not, but my suspicion is that this e-mail was just one of the many ways Satan will try to tempt me out of my "follow Jesus" mentality for the next few weeks. Sure, it seems harmless. People get scam or misdirected e-mails all the time. But what if that e-mail wasn't so harmless? The creepy, scary part is when I consider the reality of where even looking into that website could have taken me. I know it was an opportunity to be misdirected away from Christ's intentions for how I need to spend Lent. Thank the Lord I was able to calm my curiosity enough to quickly hit the "unsubscribe" button as soon as I looked into the website.

Coincidentally (or not), I found an anonymous sticky note on my door tonight with the following verses:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

I pray that my readers and I will be able to submit to God's will in the next few weeks, even as Satan tries to throw roadblocks and plant temptations in our paths. We may be creeped out and confused at times, but this piece of scripture is a beautiful reminder of Christ's support in following his paths. 

Regardless of if you participate in Lent or not, I hope and pray you all can find ways to connect with Jesus in the coming days.