Waiting Wisely

Good evening, lovely readers!

I've been blessed with some spare time tonight and a title for a post came to me earlier today, so it looks like the perfect time to do some blogging! The idea of "waiting wisely" came to me as I read a few articles earlier in regards to what to do while you are a single Christian. As someone who is trying to purposefully be single until the end of Lent, I've hit a few roadblocks that make it oh-so-tempting to give up on that idea. Satan is really good at what he does, so it is a good thing Christ is a whole lot better at supporting us through those trials!

I had a post not too long ago about the "Forever Alone" lie (The Big Fat Lie aka Forever Alone- click here for a link), but once we realize that we will not be forever alone, what do we do about it? How do we effectively spend our time embracing what Christ has for us in our singleness, rather than wishing for a significant other all-day, everyday?

Even after doing my research, I still have moments where I wish I could just jump ahead, skip the singleness step, and be in a relationship. I think I'm ready to get back into the world of dating, but the reality is, I'm not. I might think my timing is all fine and dandy; however, Christ will never be delayed or early in His timing, so I really have no business deciding that timing on my own! I am constantly reminding myself that there is a reason I felt the push to challenge myself to this dating detox for Lent and that I should embrace the time to do God's will with no distractions. Nevertheless, easier said than done.

So what can be done? Whether you are purposefully taking a break on pursuing relationships or just haven't met "the one", what can you do with all of this time being single?

Here are a few ideas I brainstormed and/or tried:

1. Read, read, and read some more. I decided this is a great time to start soaking in God's word and began a one-year Bible challenge. While it is just a short bit of time spent each day, I am finding that I am learning so much about who God is and what He has in store for our lives with Him. Word of warning-- your mind may not-so-conveniently try to wander so be prepared to push through the distractions and re-focus!

2. Check out some new volunteer opportunities. I felt God was calling me to get more plugged in at church and took the plunge to start working with children's church every few weeks. Not only is it enjoyable, but also a great way to learn about your spiritual gifts and how to use them.

3. Spend time with new people. As a single person, we are free to do whatever we please, within reason, of course. There is no one tying us down with date nights and other relationship-related time commitments, which makes it the perfect opportunity to experiment with new social circles and to seek out new fellowship opportunities. Who knows, the friendships you make could lead someone to Christ or even strengthen your own faith! Word of caution-- focus on friendship as brothers and sisters in Christ, not on whether or not someone is a potential future mate! If it is meant to turn into more than friendship, let Jesus do the work and follow His guidance. 

4. Pray and journal. Devote a consistent time to prayer and/or writing in a journal everyday. Find a comfy spot where you can unwind and let God have your complete focus. God loves when we spend time with Him in prayer and writing about our thoughts can be an amazing way to watch how He works through our prayer life.

5. Learn to see yourself the way God sees you. Embrace who you are and where you are in life! This might be the most challenging idea of all, at least in my life. Mentally re-playing our mistakes in past relationships, whether it be with friends, a significant other, or family, can become a very detrimental habit and can wear down our image of who we are in Christ. Take this time to refocus on forgiving yourself the way God forgives you, unconditionally as though you are a blank slate. Isaiah 1:18 states, "'Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'" 

I pray that all of the other single ladies and gents out there have found some equally as effective ways to spend their time! Please comment with any ideas, I'd love to hear my readers' suggestions on how to wait wisely.

Take care and goodnight!

Flawed System: The Sunday-Only Mentality

"I want it all!" 

Yeah, Sharpay from High School Musical sang those words back in the day. I said them, too. Not out loud, but mentally.

Every Sunday I went to church, I left disappointed. I wanted more, but I didn't want the commitment. That Sunday-only mentality was a hugely flawed system, as I have recently learned!

Last year, I found a Bible study women's group that was a great fit. I started to see glimpses of what it could be like to know people during and outside of church, but my mistake was going to a Bible study in one organization and church through a different group. They didn't match; although I received great information from both, the topics and people did not align.

That system did not work with my schedule this past fall, which put me into a weird category of kinda-churchgoer-kinda-not. It was hit or miss if I made it.

Well, that had to change when I realized I was in desperate need of someone to lean on this past February! (check out Spongebob Isn't the Only One Hitting Rock Bottom post). I was feeling lonely, rejected, and isolated at times and the best thing I could come up with to do in response was start looking for some new Christian friends. I had no idea what God would bless me with when I took the plunge and got re-connected at a church, so thank goodness He led me to make this decision!

Tonight, I was reaffirmed that my thoughts earlier this year of feeling disappointed at church were actually a sign I needed to get more involved. I wanted to know people and have people to talk with about the services, but I was only making room for church activities on Sunday. I was a hit-or-miss follower of Christ, only making it important when convenient.

Christ calls us to follow Him at all times and to have fellowship with other believers, not just on Sunday, but as much as possible:

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." -Hebrews 10:24-25

I think my experience of now feeling incredibly welcomed, appreciated, and accepted is a great comparison for me. I now look forward to church and my Lifegroup. I've truly seen this as a learning experience for myself on the importance of getting plugged in completely. We can only fully experience the fellowship God desires for us to have if we make it a priority. I hope some of my readers can learn from my mistake. I pray that you all can experience the joy of being connected to a church and to other believers, much earlier on in your walk than I experienced!

Spongebob isn't the only one hitting "Rock Bottom"

As a young child, I remember the terrifying scene in the Spongebob 3D ride at Paramount's King's Island in which Spongebob dives uncontrollably into the depths of "Rock Bottom". There is unanticipated complete darkness and the ride jerks little children every which way as yelps and squeals erupt throughout the theater. I'd quickly remove my 3D glasses for some relief from the chaos, only to find that my seat was still rocking and the scary "Rock Bottom" creatures, although blurry, could still be seen on screen.

That is exactly how I've felt for the past three weeks.

Rejection is a terrible feeling to experience. It damages feelings of self worth, increases feelings of anger, and ultimately made me feel as though my life was spiraling out of control. Who would I spend time with? What would my future look like? Did anyone out there even like me? Those types of doubts broke into my peaceful mind and eliminated all feelings of peace.

Praise be to God, those types of feelings and doubts don't have to be reality. Yeah, "Rock Bottom" is an ugly place. It's dark, scary, and lonely. However, those thoughts are a trick. Satan knows an easy way for a college-aged Christian to falter is through social isolation and negative thoughts, but falling for those lies does not have to be reality.

When I was feeling lonely, there was always a caring family member, an old friend, or a member of the local church to pull my spirits out of "Rock Bottom".

When I was doubting my worth, there was always a Bible verse reminding me of my beauty in God's eyes.

When I was afraid of where the future would take me, there was always a promise that God had an amazing plan for my life.

No matter how bad I felt, Christ was always providing everything I could need to handle the situation with grace and forgiveness. It was up to me to choose if I would take Him up on that opportunity.

Hitting "Rock Bottom" is what it took for me to reexamine my efforts towards pursuing a relationship with Christ. That might be your situation, but even if it is not, we can all relate to having moments of feeling disappointed, excluded, and undesirable. From here forward, I challenge myself and my readers to take those moments that can temptingly trick us into visiting "Rock Bottom" and to refocus on what God says about our value and purpose.

A verse that I continually reflect on when I have doubts is Psalm 139:14. 

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14

God has created all of us with the utmost care. We are not created to be pitiful-- we are created to be WONDERFUL! Christ wants us to form a relationship with Him and to share His love with others. Next time you find yourself heading towards "Rock Bottom", take a moment to praise God and realize that He works the negative moments of life into wonderful opportunities, if only we let Him.

God didn't design us for a "Rock Bottom" quality of life. He is always with us and continually working life out for the good of His kingdom.