Lessons Learned from a Kindergartner

Hello Readers!

I spent most of my Wednesday doing what I love most about being an education major-- assisting and observing in a kindergarten classroom! The children are always so gracious in their offerings of hugs, drawings, and giggles. I usually leave feeling really relaxed and at peace that teaching young children is what I want to do with my life. Today, however, left me with a lot more to think about.

Am I actually prepared for the situations my students are going to present? Can I really handle a classroom full of energetic bodies that can't seem to stop bouncing from their seats and sliding down to play under the tables? Do I really have the patience for early childhood students who like to push boundaries and who are not quick to grasp concepts?

I had the opportunity to lead the writing time for a solid 45 minutes. Every time the teacher peeked into the room to get another student for an assessment, she complimented how quiet and focused they were. She saw what I was missing; the majority of the class was being productive and gaining great practice in writing. I was simply distracted by the few students who decided today was the day to test Miss Sara's patience! 

One student in particular made it so easy to become frustrated. The prompt was to write about what was played at recess. The student's dramatic and loud response..."I did nothing at recess!". Eventually, this led to the paper being thrown on the floor and a refusal to do any work. I had to raise my voice with the student, in addition to moving the student to a different table away from the others, plus moving down on the behavior chart. These are not aspects of classroom management I enjoy or am proud of doing, but there was no other option in this case!  

Keep in mind, all during this episode, there were a handful of students tattle-telling on each other for various reasons. There was also a student playing "hide under the table" instead of doing work. Then, a handful of gifted and talented students waved their hands frantically out of boredom because they were finished and wanted the teacher to give them more work to do. As if that wasn't enough, several other hands were held in the air because help was needed sounding out words and thinking of ideas. Good golly, talk about needing an extra set of eyes and hands!

Despite the tears from the student refusing to do work and the chaos that seemed to surround the incident, I managed to pull everyone through the assignment. All of them wrote at least one sentence and illustrated their recess activities. Overall, you could say the lesson was a success!

But the story doesn't stop there. The reason today will stick with me wasn't the struggle of classroom management. Those are skills that will be learned with more practice.

The true struggle from today's experience is feeling comfortable with my attitude towards the difficult student. The back story to all of this is that earlier in the day, the student shared with the class frustrations of not spending time with a father figure.

Here I am, losing my patience, with a child who clearly expressed he just needs to feel and experience some unconditional love.  

Do I even have the right mindset to be an effective, loving teacher?

That is a huge question that I can only pray God will answer. Maybe my doubts are unwarranted, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, and most likely my career choice will work out fine. I'm sticking with my choice for now in hopes that this is the circumstance. 

Nonetheless, I still think it is incredibly important to pray and reflect on having the right mindset in pursuit of any path we intend to take. Skills can be learned, but a mindset is a whole different ordeal. Only Christ can bless us with the perspective we need to see our roles on Earth in the way He sees them. I can try all I want to be a good teacher, but if I am not leaning on Christ to give me the perspective to truly love and help children with patience and compassion, the work is not going to be effective. 

Although teaching may not directly be a religiously-affiliated task, I learned today how important my faith will be in pursuing and maintaining a career as a teacher. In the next few years of preparation, I will be continually praying for God to show His intentions for my career, including the mindset He wants me to have in working with young children.

A Beautiful Exchange + Other Weekend Memories

Happy Easter, Readers!

This weekend has been filled with more memories and emotions than any other Easter I can remember! I stayed at school for the holiday this year, but thankfully I had the opportunity to spend time with my beautiful and fun-loving grandma! 

Grandma was such a good sport about trying new things and going on all sorts of adventures during the weekend. Wrong turns, building water-system repairs and other craziness did not ruin her mood; in fact, I think these goofy experiences made it all the more exciting! The most special part of the weekend, however, was not just shopping and eating out together as I would have expected.

The truly special memories that I will hold close to my heart were from my grandma's willingness to go to church with me and to embrace the emotions this religious weekend can bring. Friday night, we went to a Good Friday service that far surpassed anything I would have expected. Saturday afternoon, we saw the movie Heaven is for Real. Today, we attended a fantastic church service. On top of all that, we recognized the anniversary of my uncle's unexpected passing of April 19, 2006. Talk about a tear-jerking weekend!

The tears, laughs, and smiles of this weekend all related back to the absolutely mind-blowing love of Jesus Christ. The ugliness of Christ's death on Good Friday became the most beautiful exchange imaginable on Resurrection Sunday. As my grandma pointed out, it is unimaginable to think of how the people must have felt to see their son, leader, and friend Jesus die on the cross that night. It truly places our own frustrations and sadness in perspective!

The beauty that comes from this ugliness is that Christ died as the perfect sacrifice in exchange for our sins. I hope and pray that this Easter, you spend some time reflecting on how much unconditional love that represents. Jesus died for you and because of mankind's sin. He rose from the grave, death has lost it's sting. Christ has provided the sacrifice we need in order to spend an eternity with God, all it takes is accepting His ways and choosing to live for His honor! Spread the message with those you love-- there is no other story more worth sharing! 

"Graduation", for now

Good Afternoon and Happy Monday!

I've gone back and forth about sharing an exciting moment from my past few weeks, but today I decided to go with it and write a post!

I hope by sharing openly about mental health I can be a witness to Christ's goodness and can encourage others to pursue emotional and psychological healing through the resources He provides for us. Although it is sometimes taboo in our society to discuss mental illness, I think the only way to make progress in helping people to heal is to be transparent, understanding, and supportive by addressing these issues.

Some of you may not know that last July I was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Although I've always been a worrier and had anxious tendencies, last summer was the last straw where I realized those tendencies were overtaking my life and ruining relationships with family members. God bless them all for putting up with my snappy outbursts, panic attacks, fatigued and grouchy moods, and tears at every little disagreement!

After diagnosis, I decided there were two main options for dealing with these unpleasant mood swings and my feelings of low self-worth and guilt: ignore the issues or get help. I chose the latter.

However, this choice was not as simple as get some medication and think happy thoughts. In fact, the consequences of the choice to get help sometimes caused more stress than the anxiety itself! I had to make counseling and psychiatrist appointments a priority, decrease my involvement in extracurricular activities, temporarily eliminate caffeine (it can increase anxious feelings), make time to decrease stress through reading and exercise, and increase my time spent processing negative thoughts (therapy can bring up some pretty uncomfortable topics!). 

There were times where I freaked out and thought my life would be forever ruined by anxiety. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle myself, let alone be able to have and support a family of my own someday. Depression can bring some ugly thoughts and can make life seem hopeless.

Through Christ, I saw these hopeless moments turn into new opportunities. On Friday, April 4, He brought some major excitement to my spring and made me realize just how far He pushed me towards being a more relaxed and joyful person-- I graduated from counseling! 

"Graduation" might be a stretch as far as terminology goes (I think the technical term is I am "terminated" from the counseling program), but that is what it felt like! Hearing the words "I think you met all of your goals for counseling" was music to my ears. I am continually amazed to have made so much progress in such a short amount of time. Although there were some great counselors, doctors, and family members in the process, I know that the most significant factor in my healing was God's grace. 

The scariest part of anxiety and depression is that there tends to be a recurrence throughout one's life, depending on situational triggers and genetic predispositions. That thought used to really terrify me, but now I am realizing that if God brought me through it once, He can do it again. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to a more joyful life with less anxiety and negativity. Even if there is a recurrence down the road, Christ will provide all of the resources I need to see myself the way He sees me and to cast all of my cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7). 

As for now, I am going to enjoy my "graduation" and embrace the new habits of anxiety-free living. I hope and pray that this post comes as encouragement to anyone dealing with mental health issues. God will and does provide!

Fab 5: A Few Snapshots of My Weekend

Hello Readers!

It's been a while since I've blogged, so I figured it is about time I get you all caught up on the happenings of the past few days! Here are the Fab 5 moments from this past weekend:




1-Sibs-n-Kids Weekend
I had the opportunity to spend some time with family with a visit from my sister, neighbor, and parents. My college was hosting Sibs-n-Kids Weekend, which meant a bunch of fun activities: exotic animal petting, photo booths, inflatables, and more!  




2- Best Friend Photos
I received the photos from when Caitlyn visited! The "Best Friend Photo Shoot" was really enjoyable and Melissa did a great job. Here are a few favorites!

        


3- Productivity
I buckled down on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon and managed to complete two projects! I'm praying my motivation levels stay this high as the semester draws to a close.

4- Baby Time
This morning, I had the opportunity to watch some of the babies at church. Spending time with these little blessings was so enjoyable!

5- Palm Sunday Service
Today was Palm Sunday, which meant the children at church had a blast running around with palm leaves and making paper donkey crafts. Seeing the joy on their faces reminded me of how much of a blessing it is to have Jesus as our Lord and Savior! Palm Sunday is a great time to reflect on where you are in your walk with God and I recommend reading this story in your Bible in preparation for Easter. One aspect in particular that stuck out to me was that Jesus cried after people praised Him by yelling "Hosanna!" and waving the palm branches (Luke 19:41). From the church service, I now realize Jesus was crying due to the lack of genuine commitment from the people praising Him. Christ wants our full commitment to doing His will, on more than just a special occasion like the situation of the crowd in the story of Palm Sunday.

Hope your weekend was filled with joyful moments and some reflection in preparation for Easter!

Alternate Plans

Hello Everyone! Happy Wednesday!

Tonight I just had to sit back and laugh. I took a shower for the sole purpose to shave in preparation for wearing capri-length pants to a group exercise class, got myself mentally pumped and motivated, and then was told by a friend that Zumba class was cancelled tonight. All that prep for nothing!

This scenario reflects a lot of situations that arise in life, in which we have positive intentions only to find that those plans were not aligned with what was actually going to happen. Sometimes the switch is more disappointing or more exciting than my Zumba class falling through, but nevertheless, we have to deal with the situation and move forward with the change in schedule.

I realized just a day or so ago that I had felt it was a wonderful idea to make the "Spread Some Love" Facebook page and put words to action, but even I have fallen off track with following through on that plan! Good intentions, but was it realistic? Probably not! I learned a lesson about myself through that experience-- setting a daily plan for how I can bless people is neither my strength nor is it practical! I'm realizing more and more that God wants me to see ways to help show others His love on sporadic and spontaneous everyday occasions, not through a scheduled-out calendar of Facebook events. 

So after going back and forth over what to do with this ineffective Facebook page, I did some talking to God and self-reflection and decided I would leave it in case someone else finds it to be useful. If it takes off and people want to connect via the page, great! If not, nothing lost and insight gained!

My initial thought was to end this post with the hope that your day is going more as planned than my own, but that might not actually be the best idea with which to leave this subject. Rather, I hope and pray that even if your day is not going as planned, you can trust God has something bigger and better to fill that time!

Waiting Wisely

Good evening, lovely readers!

I've been blessed with some spare time tonight and a title for a post came to me earlier today, so it looks like the perfect time to do some blogging! The idea of "waiting wisely" came to me as I read a few articles earlier in regards to what to do while you are a single Christian. As someone who is trying to purposefully be single until the end of Lent, I've hit a few roadblocks that make it oh-so-tempting to give up on that idea. Satan is really good at what he does, so it is a good thing Christ is a whole lot better at supporting us through those trials!

I had a post not too long ago about the "Forever Alone" lie (The Big Fat Lie aka Forever Alone- click here for a link), but once we realize that we will not be forever alone, what do we do about it? How do we effectively spend our time embracing what Christ has for us in our singleness, rather than wishing for a significant other all-day, everyday?

Even after doing my research, I still have moments where I wish I could just jump ahead, skip the singleness step, and be in a relationship. I think I'm ready to get back into the world of dating, but the reality is, I'm not. I might think my timing is all fine and dandy; however, Christ will never be delayed or early in His timing, so I really have no business deciding that timing on my own! I am constantly reminding myself that there is a reason I felt the push to challenge myself to this dating detox for Lent and that I should embrace the time to do God's will with no distractions. Nevertheless, easier said than done.

So what can be done? Whether you are purposefully taking a break on pursuing relationships or just haven't met "the one", what can you do with all of this time being single?

Here are a few ideas I brainstormed and/or tried:

1. Read, read, and read some more. I decided this is a great time to start soaking in God's word and began a one-year Bible challenge. While it is just a short bit of time spent each day, I am finding that I am learning so much about who God is and what He has in store for our lives with Him. Word of warning-- your mind may not-so-conveniently try to wander so be prepared to push through the distractions and re-focus!

2. Check out some new volunteer opportunities. I felt God was calling me to get more plugged in at church and took the plunge to start working with children's church every few weeks. Not only is it enjoyable, but also a great way to learn about your spiritual gifts and how to use them.

3. Spend time with new people. As a single person, we are free to do whatever we please, within reason, of course. There is no one tying us down with date nights and other relationship-related time commitments, which makes it the perfect opportunity to experiment with new social circles and to seek out new fellowship opportunities. Who knows, the friendships you make could lead someone to Christ or even strengthen your own faith! Word of caution-- focus on friendship as brothers and sisters in Christ, not on whether or not someone is a potential future mate! If it is meant to turn into more than friendship, let Jesus do the work and follow His guidance. 

4. Pray and journal. Devote a consistent time to prayer and/or writing in a journal everyday. Find a comfy spot where you can unwind and let God have your complete focus. God loves when we spend time with Him in prayer and writing about our thoughts can be an amazing way to watch how He works through our prayer life.

5. Learn to see yourself the way God sees you. Embrace who you are and where you are in life! This might be the most challenging idea of all, at least in my life. Mentally re-playing our mistakes in past relationships, whether it be with friends, a significant other, or family, can become a very detrimental habit and can wear down our image of who we are in Christ. Take this time to refocus on forgiving yourself the way God forgives you, unconditionally as though you are a blank slate. Isaiah 1:18 states, "'Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'" 

I pray that all of the other single ladies and gents out there have found some equally as effective ways to spend their time! Please comment with any ideas, I'd love to hear my readers' suggestions on how to wait wisely.

Take care and goodnight!

A Wonderful Visit with a Lovely Lady!

Good afternoon, readers!

I sadly had to send Caitlyn on her way this morning. She has a busy week ahead of her and we had a very eventful weekend, so say some prayers for her to have energy this week!

Here is a sneak peek into our girl time this weekend. Some stories can't be shared online, of course, because what happens on girls' weekend stays in girls' weekend :) No worries, we didn't experience anything too crazy!

On Friday, we enjoyed some local pizza, tried (but failed) to find a craft to do, and decided to make a last-minute trip to the movie theater to see God's Not Dead. Our take on the movie-- a little too jumpy of a storyline and some room for improvement on the filming, but some great Christian messages not-so-hidden within the characters' experiences!

Saturday did not fail to entertain us! We started our morning bright and early to go to Literacy in the Park, which is a campus program including a children's author visit (Eric Litwin) and literacy activities for children in the community.

Here is a picture of us with Pete the Cat! Hopefully we can entertain our future students with this "celebrity" spotting.

After spending some time around children, we decided to embrace our inner child and get our hands dirty. Spur of the moment trip to Hobby Lobby, it was! We came back armed with crayons, glue, fabric, ribbon, beads, and dowel rods. 

I have a tiny crack of light that always shines through the side of my blinds, so DIY curtains were the perfect solution for residence hall life! Caitlyn was a wonderful crafting partner and helped me get REALLY creative with how to make those curtains happen. No sewing, just a glue gun, ribbons, fabric, and dowel rods supported by Command hooks. Ta-da!

We also made some bracelets we've always eyed on Pinterest. Ta-da #2!

Our day didn't stop there, though! Next up was a Best Friend Photoshoot. It was a blast and Melissa did a fantastic job finding fun poses and locations for the pictures. I'm sure some will be shared with you all once I get them back!

We were very tired and took a snack break for some Pinkberry after the photoshoot. Caitlyn learned she has a new favorite fro-yo topping, strawberries!

After some time just relaxing and watching movies, we went on our last adventure of the night. Caitlyn got to join me in cheering on participants at Ziggython, my school's Dance Marathon event. Dancers stand for 32 hours in support for the kids! Check out this link http://www.bgsudancemarathon.com/ for more information about this great cause!

We slept like babies last night, if you didn't guess! I think I tired out my best friend, but even if I didn't, I know we at least made some really good memories in our eventful day! I treasure time with this wonderful sister in Christ and am already looking forward to the next time I see her.

Hope you all had an adventurous weekend with the special people in your life!

Blogging Break! But not for long...

Hello Readers!

This weekend marks an official blogging break! Why, you might ask? 

I'm having a special visitor, Caitlyn! She is my all-time BFF (we go way back...like the awkward and funny days of fourth grade). Even more importantly, Caitlyn is a forever sister in Christ. We can talk about anything and everything, so I am thrilled she is coming to visit!

Here we are:

As you can probably tell, we laugh a lot when we are together. Sometimes we have experiences where you just have to be there, like the modeling we randomly decided to do while window-shopping at Target. This photo captures some of the more attractive outfits we tried.

I am so thankful God placed this friendship in my life and I will take all the time I can get with this lady! So dear readers, as much as I like my time spent sharing life with you, this weekend is getting devoted to sharing my college experience with Caitlyn.

Have a blessed weekend! Spend it with someone special in your life!

Coffee Date Link-Up: Happiness in the Now

Hello Readers!

I came across a cool idea in the blogging world, a link-up! Rachel from Oh Simple Thoughts invited her readers to join her in a posting called a Coffee Date Link-Up, which I found through a blogger I know from high school, Megan. Check out Rachel or Megan's posts by clicking the links on their names, they have some great insight! 

The whole concept behind these posts is to share what would be typically shared during a coffee date with a close friend. This might include those talks that seem to go on for hours, where vulnerability isn't a worry and the truth comes out.

Here's where my virtual coffee date begins...

I am taking a break from caffeinated beverages, so I'm sharing while drinking some Vitamin Water and eating some chocolate covered pretzels. Not a traditional coffee date, but I hope you won't mind :) Grab something tasty and take some time to share your coffee date with me, too, via comments or in person!

Here's my latest truth, which is actually a realization as of today. I'm having moments where I struggle to find happiness in the now.

I have times where I know my life is great, where I am completely content and fulfilled in God's present blessings. Yet, as I'm sure some of you can relate, we reside in a culture of wanting more and living for the future. I find my mind wandering to thoughts of where my life will be someday and become drawn to the idea that life later on will be better than college life now.

These are the moments where I just want to skip ahead about twenty steps and have a career, settle down with a husband, have some children, and live in a cute little house in a nice neighborhood. 

Sure, I love life now. I have great friends, a supportive family, and a fairly solid relationship with God. But no matter how much I love life now, I forget to embrace and enact that appreciation sometimes, as ridiculous as that may seem. I become incredibly impatient and find myself rereading verses about trusting in the Lord's timing to try to recommit myself to appreciating the present. It can be a constant struggle to find contentment, especially when the culture around us presses for us to think and plan ahead. 

As a result, I honestly do not have a cure-all or instant fix for the contentment issue. It's complex, plus the potential solutions are easier said than done, as are most challenges presented to the person of faith. I know for a fact that raising up prayers to Him and following His guidance will place me closer to finding joy in the everyday. Taking this step of prayer is definitely a step in the right direction, even if it does not always instantaneously fix our problems. However, the steps after those prayers are where I am realizing more and more that I need to lean on Christ. Thankfully, through God we can do anything, so finding joy and contentment isn't a lost cause. The process will not be easy, but it is possible.

If you relate to any of the thoughts shared through this brief, kinda-sorta-coffee-date, I hope you can find some comfort in the truths below.

Jesus knows the path ahead of us: 

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:8

Christ has intended for us to find joy in the everyday, not because we understand His plans, but simply because we are blessed with a relationship with Him:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in his toil-- this is the gift of God." -Ecclesiastes 3:11-13

God does not want us to worry about what we will have in the future because He will take care of us:

"Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" -Luke 12:23-26

Christ wants us to love, trust, and appreciate our relationship with Him and to seek Him above all earthly things. We can have faith that His timing is perfect and draw close to Him when we become impatient. 

Let Jesus worry about your future for you and join me as I work towards contentment and finding happiness in the now! Christ can bring the ultimate joy. When life isn't perfect, He is still behind the scenes working for good.